Let’s talk about my hair for a moment. It’s baby-fine, mousey brown, and a good portion of it has fled my scalp for parts unknown, leaving more skin showing than hair. In other words…
It really used to bother me, being only in my early thirties when I started to lose my hair. This pic is of me and Boy #1 about twenty or so years ago. You can already see it start to thin at this point.
I’ve tried so many different styles to try to camouflage the thinning parts, but I think the battle is lost at this point. I went through a wig phase a few years ago, and I still do occasionally sport one for a day or two.
(yes, that’s a lot of wigs)
I’ve been saying that my fifties are where all of my fucks have come to die, so I’ve really stopped caring about the thinning hair. In fact, instead of hiding it behind a wig or trying to disguise the bald parts, lately I’ve been leaning into showing it off. A couple of months ago I had it dyed a very dark purple, which with my natural brown hair made it a very subtle change. It was nice and I enjoyed it, but once it faded (because my hair is also so dumb that it doesn’t know how to retain color), I wanted more. More of a vibrant purple shade, and more of a middle finger to people who think older women shouldn’t be dying their hair weird colors.
And today I got the color I have been wanting. I was a tad nervous because it involved lightening my hair first to get that vibrant shade, and I’ve never done that to my hair before. I’ve always shied away from it because my hair is assed up enough as it is, and I didn’t want it to have ALL of it fall out.
But I braved the bleach and put all of my trust in my expert stylist’s hands. Seriously, if you’re lucky enough to have had Maddie Pepper color your hair, you’re lucky enough.
Once the lightener was washed out and my hair dried, I got to see myself as a blonde for the first time in my life. And I LOVED IT!! Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that Syracuse Pride is on Saturday and that’s the whole reason I wanted the purple right now, we would have stopped the whole process right here. But as soon as the purple fades, we will definitely be revisiting the blonde idea.
Next up was the purple goop working its magic. Honestly, I looked like an oversized cupcake with buttercream frosting for a while there.
Crap. Now I want a cupcake…
And OMG look at that beautiful purple!! I am so excited to shock the hell out of my coworkers tomorrow morning. 😂 This is exactly what I was hoping for. Thanks so much, Maddie!
As women, so much emphasis is put on our outward appearance. Our hair styles and colors become tied to our self esteem, right or wrong. As a woman who has never really fit the mold of traditional beauty, having my hair start falling out at such an early age was a major blow, separating me even more from the “ideal.” And for a long time that mattered to me. But it doesn’t anymore. And I would love for other women who suffer from some sort of alopecia to join me in declaring that just because our hair isn’t full and long and lush does not mean we’re not beautiful.